The Epic Fails of the TSA

It’s happened again. The most touchy-feely agency in the federal government, the TSA, has struck again with its security blunders.   The agency known more for feeling up grandmas than preventing terrorist attacks has again forced a completely innocent American to undergo a traumatic ordeal.

In the latest chapter of Transportation Security Administration theater, we find ourselves at Lambert-St. Louis International Airport in Missouri.  Last month, TSA officials at Lambert detained 3-year-old Lucy Forck, and threatened her with an invasive pat-down.  To make matters worse, little Lucy is confined to a wheelchair. Her mother took cell phone video of the entire traumatic experience, and put it up online for the world to see.

Thanks to that, and the videos having over 100,000 views, the TSA, as usual, was forced to issue an obligatory apology.  Late Wednesday night, the agency issued a statement, saying that, “TSA regrets inaccurate guidance was provided to this family during screening and offers its apology...We are committed to maintaining the security of the traveling public and strive to treat all passengers with dignity and respect. While no pat-down was performed, we will address specific concerns with our workforce.”

Basically, the TSA again acknowledges that it screwed the pooch. Again. 

But the real problem here is that the TSA seems incapable of learning from its mistakes, no matter how many times it says, “we will address specific concerns with our workforce.”  

This past December, a 12 year old girl in a wheelchair suffering from a debilitating bone density disorder was detained by TSA agents at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport after they claimed the girl had “explosive residue” on her hands.  The girl was later released after testing.

Back in 2010 – TSA agents at Chicago O’Hare airport detained and swabbed 3-year-old Rocco Dubiel, who was using a wheelchair because of a broken leg. Again, video of the incident was taken, posted on the web, and the TSA issued an apology, that it apparently learned nothing from.   

And then there are the real WTF’s of the TSA. In May of 2012, TSA agents at Fort Lauderdale airport in Florida pulled an 18-month-old baby off of a flight, because her name was on the government’s no-fly list.  Apparently, the TSA was positive that the cute and innocent girl was actually a terrorist mastermind, who likes to build bombs, and not just drop them in her diaper. 

If that’s not bad enough, look at the story of 50 year-old Frank Hannibal.  Hannibal was hauled away by TSA agents at New York’s LaGuardia airport after the they failed to make the fairly easy conclusion that a jar labeled peanut butter that appeared to be filled with peanut butter, was actually real peanut butter, and not some new type of explosive device.  Hannibal is now suing the TSA for getting him into such a sticky situation. 

I even have some personal experience with the incredibly inept TSA.  My father is one of the many perfectly normal and legitimate Americans who find themselves, by one way or another, on this nation’s flying watch list.  To this day, we don’t know why he is on the list. But we do know that every time he tries to fly internationally, he is met with glares from security officials that don’t know quite what to do or how to handle the situation.  My father wrote the TSA and lawmakers in Washington to try to get an answer as to why he was on the watch list, but never got any reasonable response.  

Except for the traumatizing situations that the TSA is routinely putting Americans through, it really is laughable how terrible this government agency is at doing its job.  Heck, kindergartners have more common-sense then these TSA officers who apparently cant discern a toddler from a terrorist.  

It’s abundantly clear that something needs to change. Americans should not be forced to worry about security checkpoints every time they go to the airport. Parents should not have to dread their children  being patted down and felt up. 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m in totally support of the theory of the TSA and of the organization’s mission. I would much rather feel safe every time I step foot on an airplane, than worry about possibly becoming the victim of a terrorist attack.  With that said, the execution on the part of the TSA needs to change.  This incredibly flawed system needs to be reworked, from the top down.  

It’s time to leave comedy up to actors and comedians, and not to security staff at our nation’s airports.